Saiyan Traditions
by Forfangirls
Summary: Recently-arrived refugees learn something new every minute: how to change a light bulb, where to catch the bus on their way to work, how to keep up with their children's obsession with Disney. Luckily, refugees in the United States almost always settle down near others from similar cultures and traditions. However, what happens when you have a refugee from an alien planet?
1. Captains and Bathrobes

Author's Note:

This story was inspired by Bizarre Earth Customs by Nintendocat (which you can read on ) where Bulma discovers how odd Earth traditions seem to Vegeta. So being the Anthropology major that I am, I wanted to take it one step further to write a story where Vegeta discovers how odd Saiyan traditions seem to Bulma and, really, everyone else on Earth. Enjoy!

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Recently-arrived refugees learn something new every minute: how to change a light bulb, where to catch the bus on their way to work, how to keep up with their children's obsession with Disney. Luckily, refugees in the United States almost always settle down near others from similar cultures and traditions. However, what happens when you have a refugee from an alien planet?

After the destruction of Frieza and the planet Namek, the last true Saiyan refugee was staying at the Capsule Corp. campus with the Briefs. Vegeta was living at the Brief's home instead of in his own apartment because the Briefs quickly realized Vegeta couldn't pass as a human (or even function on Earth) on his own.

Bulma was the one who invited him to stay at Capsule Corp., Bulma was the one who said he could stay at her house once the gang realized he had to be supervised, and Bulma was the one who agreed to him staying in the room across from her.

At least that was what Bulma reminded herself when she heard Vegeta scream her name at four in the morning. Well… his name for her at least.

"Woman! Earth woman!"

Bulma rolled over in her blue bedhead and moaned, "What, Vegeta?"

"Why is the gravity chamber door not opening?"

"Huh?"

"My apologies, I thought you were the exception to the all-humans-are-stupid rule, I went to train in the gravity chamber and couldn't open the door. As this is my first time using it myself, I assumed it is either broken and you can fix it or it is locked and you have the key. Do you have the key, woman? Or do you not know how to make a properly functioning door handle?"

"Uggghhhh" Bulma groaned and pushed herself further into the mattress, "It's voice locked. You just need the password."

"Well?"

"Well, what?"

"Well, what's the password?!" Vegeta said tensely- and much louder than Bulma would tolerate before dawn.

"Vegeta go to hell!"

"...That's a terrible password! People say that to me all the time!"

Bulma rolled her eyes and waited for it to dawn on the Prince but ten minutes later, Vegeta was back at her door yelling, "Woman the passphrase didn't work, are you sure you know what it is?"

Bulma just smiled into her pillow and said "I'm sure I know what it is Vegeta."

A moment of silence passed before Bulma nodded to herself, got out of bed, pulled on her softest bathrobe, and padded her way to her door to open it and look Vegeta in the eye. (Though she once again overestimated his height and had to subtly slide her eyes down a few inches to do so.)

"That wasn't the actual password, was it woman?"

"Nope, but I'll give it to you this time."

"No tricks?"

"Trix are for kids, Vegeta."

Bulma smiled at her own joke and thought the stupid joke was worth it to see Vegeta's confused little head tilt.

"I don't understand."

"The password is 'Shenron let me pass' and that's the truth."

Vegeta stared into her eyes over their two sets of crossed arms, his armoured ones contrasting with the plush sleeves of her bathrobe.

"On your Captain's life?"

"What?" Bulma asked, later swearing she saw Vegeta's mouth twitch up at her confused little head tilt before he turned his head to stare down the hallway.

"It's something we said on planet Vegeta. The closest person to any Saiyan is his captain or the King, and since the King is dead and you humans don't seem to be overly fond of your political leaders, it seemed appropriate to use 'your captain'. I assume you have one."

Bulma frowned and said, "We usually swear on other things like religious symbols or objects instead of people. And no I don't really have a captain anymore."

"Oh, did they fall in battle? Probably not considering they were your captain."

"No…" Bulma said slowly, "I just don't have anyone more superior than me anymore. I mean I still have my Dad, but he's about to pass the company to me and the political leaders you mentioned mostly follow my lead because I'm an international leader."

"So you are the highest level of Captain in your sector?"

The still groggy part of Bulma's genius mind decided she liked the sound of that, "Yeah I guess you could say that. Perhaps you should have afforded me some more respect."

Vegeta smirked, "You're still a weak little human, but you have earned a bit more respect than I had given you. You would still do well to remember that I'm a Prince and a born Elite and am therefore superior to all not only in biology but in pure power and birthright."

"Good luck trying to sell that here Vegeta. Oh, and enjoy the gravity chamber." and with that Bulma waved her hand over the control pad on the wall and shut her bedroom door. She stood there for a moment pondering Vegeta's reaction to her lack of a "Captain". As the furry bathrobe plopped onto the floor and her legs slid back under the covers, Bulma wondered what other peculiar things Vegeta's home world did. She fell asleep pondering a world where the only things precious enough to swear on was a person's superior officer and their king.


	2. New Year's and New Traditions Part 1

It was December on the Capsule Corp. Campus and everyone was preparing for Ganjitsu, the Japanese New Year's Festival. Bulma was busy cleaning the house with her mother and father, per their annual tradition of cleaning it themselves on New Year's Eve.

Although Bulma loved the traditions she was worried about having enough time to get ready before the countdown party tonight. She also had to warn Vegeta about the fireworks, which despite not being a Japanese tradition was one of her favorite Capsule Corp. and family traditions.

Can't have Mr. Prince of All Saiyans thinking we're under attack… though Bulma wondered if Vegeta would even defend the place or just leave without a second thought.

"Woman, what are you doing?"

"Speak of the devil…"

"What?"

"Nothing my Prince, what can I do for you?" Bulma said with false sincerity.

"That's better" Vegeta said suspiciously, "Are you finally cleaning this mansion to my standards?"

Bulma frowned and put down her duster, "No, this is a just a New Year's tradition."

"New Year's?"

"Yes, we celebrate the New Year on the calendar every year. Something about rebirth."

"Ah, we had something like that on Vegeta."

"Really?"

"Yes, we celebrate the birth of our planet. Though since I doubt you human's have a date for that you just chose an arbitrary date to signal a new solar cycle like idiots."

"Yes I suppose we did."

Vegeta paused, his arms stayed crossed but he tilted his head down and frowned even more so than usual, "What? No argument?"

"We did just pick a date. I'm sure it was based on something but not the birthdate of the planet, I don't think we even know when the planet was formed yet."

"Humph" Vegeta… somewhat said.

"Anyway, we're having a party tonight to countdown until it's technically the new year then a little fireworks show."

Vegeta finally looked up, "A firearms show?"

"No not firearms, 'fireworks'. They're a type of pyrotechnic designed to explode into different colors and shapes that we set off in the sky." Bulma patiently explained.

"Your people set of explosions for fun?"

Bulma gave a coy smile, "Yes we do my Prince. Want to watch on the roof with me tonight?"

Vegeta looked down the hall and said, "No."

Bulma frowned but after all she'd been expecting that answer. "Okay, well I'll see you tomorrow for the big breakfast." and she started to walk down the hall for some more cleaning wipes.

Vegeta's voice rang behind her, "You have a feast on the first day of the new year?"

"Yeah, why?" Bulma stopped and turned around.

Vegeta was staring at the ground over his forever-crossed arms, "We used to do that on Vegeta."

Bulma considered that for a moment then said, "Why don't you go tell my mom what you used to eat at the feast on Vegeta and we'll see what we can do."

"Please woman, none of your planet's food is similar to that we had on Vegeta." The Saiyan said in a huff, "though… I suppose we could have that sir-lion your mother made weeks ago. We also ate a lot of meat on Vegeta."

"I'll go tell mom, and it's called 'sirloin' by the way." Bulma said, impressed Vegeta noticed anything about her mother's cooking considering how fast he always gulped it down. Despite it not being a breakfast food, Bunny assured her they could have it tomorrow if that's what Vegeta wanted. Bunny really tried so hard to make sure their house guest was happy.

After cleaning the rest of her family's shared living spaces (because cleaning the entire mansion was way too much work for the three billionaires), Bulma went upstairs to get dressed for the party. She eventually landed on a modern red dress with yellow jewels and matching custom-made earrings. The dress fit comfortably and had sheer sleeves which ran down to just above her wrists. The dress stopped just below her knees, which was longer than almost any of the other dresses she owned but since this was a work party and she wanted to go dancing she figured a longer dress would be appropriate.

Bulma was not normally one to consider other people's opinions of what she was wearing, but since her father was going to officially announce him giving her control of the company at the party tonight so she wanted to look professional and not cause any reason for uproar. At least, she thought to herself with a sly grin, not quite yet. After pulling on a pair of red heels, putting on perfectly matching lipstick, and curling her baby blue hair Bulma was ready for the party.

An hour later Bulma realized she was anything but ready for this party because, so everyone's surprise, Vegeta had shown up..


	3. New Year's and New Traditions Part 2

After arriving at the New Year's party Bulma had scanned her eyes over the crowd and quickly realized something was wrong. Everyone was taking quick glances at someone else, not bothering to be subtle about it. Bulma followed the trail of a hundred eyes and found no other than the Prince of all two Saiyans himself.

Bulma froze. Bulma never freezes, but here she was on one of the most important nights of her career and she froze at the sight of Vegeta standing in the ballroom with a pink collared shirt and- are those sweatpants?

Bulma hurried her assistant over and said, "Go to the man in the pink shirt and grey… pants and ask him to please meet me outside." Her assistant nodded and turned to leave before Bulma grabbed her arm and added, "Approach him slowly and keep your hands in front of you, he can get a little jumpy sometimes."

Five minutes later Vegeta and Bulma were standing outside the party on one of the many Capsule Corp. campus courtyards. Bulma gestured for Vegeta to follow her and they started walking towards their home without another word. When they arrived, Vegeta finally spoke up.

"Why was I not welcome at your party?"

"What?"

"Believe it or not I did get some training on Vegeta as a social elite not just a warrior, I know when I'm not welcome at a party. I also realized that I wasn't dressed appropriately, but I don't own any of what appears to be Earth formal clothing."

"Oh, I'm sorry." Bulma felt guilty for wanted to walk Vegeta home in silence then yell at him for trying to mess with her party. Now she realized Vegeta didn't mean to ruin anything at all.

"It's of no consequence, woman."

"No, really, I'm sorry. When we get inside I'll find you something to wear and you can come back to the party." at seeing Vegeta's eyes snap up violently she added, "if you want to, that is."

Vegeta's face relaxed just below its' tense baseline and Bulma wondered what she did to deserve it. When Vegeta was calm like this he really did look like the cutie she saw months ago after using the Dragon Balls to bring back the Namekians.

After half an hour, Bulma managed to find clothes suitable to the Prince's high standards of mobility, comfort, and being tight enough to "leave (his) strength somewhat visible" as Vegeta put it. Bulma didn't understand his requests at the time, but years later she would look back at his odd requirements realizing Vegeta always dressed to be ready for a fight and to intimidate an enemy.

They walked back to the party in silence until Bulma stopped to rub her ankles. Although the three-inch pumps were fashionable they certainly didn't fit any of Vegeta's clothing rules.

Unbeknownst to the young genius, Vegeta sensed her stop and knew she had to get back to the party. Not wanting to hear her complain anymore, Vegeta took two quick steps back and scooped her arm in his arms before pushing off into the air.

Bulma screamed and held onto his shoulders for dear life. She didn't stop screaming until Vegeta said "Calm down woman, I need you to fix the gravity chamber and build me a spaceship. I won't kill you." with a smile that she didn't miss for once.

"Why couldn't we just walk back to the party, huh?"

"Because those torture devices your people call footwear is clearly injuring your ankles and you said tonight was important for some reason. No need to walk when I can fly back."

"Oh" Bulma said, listening to the wind in her hair for a minute. "Um, can you soften your arms a little? I think I'd feel safer if-" Suddenly Vegeta dove down and Bulma gripped his shoulder with a strength that secretly impressed both of them. When he landed he unceremoniously stood Bulma upright and walked past her back to the party.

"What's the big deal tonight anyway? Surely this hairbrained holiday can't be worth all the fuss."

Bulma smiled despite herself, "No that's not all, my father is announcing I'll be taking over as CEO of Capsule Corp. in a few months."

Vegeta widened his eyes, "Your father is dying?"

Now it was Bulma's turn to widen her eyes, "No no! Nothing like that, he's just ready to retire and relax and I'm ready to run the company."

"Ah, a logical decision. I assume that's why you decided to dress appropriately for once?" Bulma blushed as Vegeta continued, "Even by your planet's indecent ideals of fashion you still seem to dress in a vulgar way."

"Been noticing the way I dress, my Prince?"

She half expected Vegeta to blush, but instead the mighty warrior just uncrossed his arms and turned towards her. "No, I've just been trying to learn how you insane little creatures dress." Bulma nodded to Vegeta and scolded herself for thinking the Prince had eyes for anyone but himself.

"Well, yes you're right. I did dress more professionally tonight. What do you think?" Bulma smiled as she finally got the Prince to look her up and down.

Vegeta hummed gruffly and said, "This might be the closest to Saiyan fashion I've seen thus far. With the exception of the Kame training Gi's of course." which Bulma decided to take as a compliment.

"Let's get inside so I don't miss the announcement and you don't miss the food."


	4. New Year's and New Traditions Part 3

After the succession announcement and the ringing of the bells, the Brief family and their alien guest all went to sleep. The next morning Bunny and Vegeta were both up early to help the chef's cook and go train respectively. Two hours later there was a knock on the gravity chamber door.

Bulma stood patiently outside while she listened to the sounds of her machine shutting down accompanied by loud, frustrated footsteps. When the door opened to reveal Vegeta sweating in black spandex shorts and a tank top with his arms crossed and head tilted down, Bulma just smiled and looked at him.

"Like what you see?" Vegeta said peevishly.

"What if I did?" Bulma joked back.

Vegeta tilted his head then grunted again. "What do you want Woman? You're interrupting my-"

"Would you stop calling me that?"

"I'll whatever I want."

"No seriously" Bulma put her hands on her hips, "I let you stay here and build things our science hasn't ever dreamed of before and you insist on calling me that."

Vegeta stared at her for a moment, "Am I wrong?"

"What?"

"Are you not a woman?"

Now Bulma was angry, "Of course I am!"

"Then why can't I call you by what you are?"

"Because you don't mean it it in a good way!"

Vegeta paused for another moment before widening his eyes by a fraction, "Oh, I see, your race has sexist nonsense like Frieza's doesn't it?"

Bulma paused for more than a moment. They stood like that until Bulma could wrap her head around this new information.

"You don't mean 'woman' in a derogatory way?"

"Of course not. If I were going to call you something insulting, I'd just call you 'bitch'." Vegeta said with a smirk.

"You could call me by my name."

Vegeta's smirk turned sly as he said, "I suppose I could."

Bulma rolled her eyes and leaned back on her heel, eventually deciding to focus on the questions arising in her mind. "So Saiyans didn't have sexism?"

Vegeta said, "We used to before my father took power, but since we are a warrior race everyone's value was determined by their skill in battle. Biological differences were also mitigated by the widespread use of incubation tanks… now that I've answered all your redundant questions, what do you want?"

"I just came to tell you that the 'feast' is about to be served." Bulma said. Vegeta just looked at her as he mentally debated stopping his training to eat, _though certainly he's hungry so what is he really trying to figure out?_ Bulma wondered to herself.

Bulma just stared back then said "And mom had the chef prepare a sirloin just for you, cooked to your preferences my liege." Bulma mock-curtsied. Vegeta scowled at her but she just laughed, turned, and walked down the ramp. "Adieu, my Prince" she yelled back as she went back to her house. She was sure Vegeta heard her because the next sound she heard was the slamming of the gravity chamber door.

Ten minutes later, Vegeta walked downstairs in jeans and a green collared shirt. Everyone was surprised not because he had come to breakfast but because they hadn't seen him use the door. Bunny smiled politely and said "Good morning" as did Dr. Brief between bites of sausage and white rice.

Vegeta sat down without a word and grabbed the platter with what he recognized as sirloin. Bulma stopped eating to watch as Vegeta cut himself an incredibly large serving of the beef then tried some. He closed his eyes for a second and Bulma wondered where his mind had taken him, though she quickly realized it has reminded him enough of his home to send him back to what she hoped were happier times.

Vegeta opened his eyes and looked directly at Bulma. She looked away then heard him say, "This is acceptable." Despite the comment being somewhat rude and unappreciative for any human, Bunny started beaming and Bulma smiled.

"Would it hurt you to say 'thank you'?" Bulma teased.

"I don't know but I don't plan on finding out." Vegeta said between large gulps of prime sirloin. "Oh, and I need you to go make repairs to the gravity chamber after breakfast."

"What's wrong with it this time?" Bulma asked.

"The screen got in my way. As did a small portion of the control board."

Bulma rolled her eyes and texted Yamcha and Krillin that hitting the New Year's sales would have to wait, the Prince needed his training room fixed. Again.


	5. Gohan's Heritage Research Paper

Author's Note: This chapter is a little different from the last five in that it involves primarily Vegeta, Goku, and Gohan. Let me know if you want to see more Vegeta and Gohan in the comments section!

Gohan had to write a paper. Chichi had told him to research the history of his people, and though he suspected she meant Japanese people Gohan decided it'd be more fun and educational to research the history of Saiyans. Since his dad was dead again, Gohan had flown to Capsule Corp. to ask Vegeta some questions.

"So you want to learn about the history of our mighty race?"

"That is what I said, yes." Gohan replied. Needless to say Vegeta was not his favorite person.

"Shut up brat, what do you want to know?"

"Well… I'm not really sure where to start. I don't know anything about our race besides the biology."

"Humph, well I figured Kakarot didn't remember much about being a Saiyan but I assumed he'd try to learn something about his heritage."

"Yeah, my dad is really one for… learning. Mr. Vegeta, sir."

Vegeta mumbled to himself, "Learned how to achieve the legend."

"What?"

"Nothing, just tell me where to start brat."

"Um… what's the earliest back you know of in our history?" Gohan asked hopefully.

Meanwhile, Bulma was heading home from another afternoon of fixing the gravity simulator. Vegeta pushed the machine to its limited everyday, they had resorted to placing the generator for it every week and Bulma was constantly making repairs. However, when she tried to look on the bright side she remembered that scientific advances are almost always made out of necessity. As she came in Bulma wondered what developments she'd make in trying to improve the gravity chamber for their guest.

 _Speaking of our guest_ Bulma thought, hearing his voice down the hallway. _Who is he talking to? He doesn't have any friends?_

A small amount of pity for the Prince crept into her mind, though she knew she'd have to deny its existence for all eternity if she wanted to live. Bulma put the thought of Vegeta killing her and him needing friends aside for another day and walked towards the living room to see what's up.

Stumbling on a very odd scene, Vegeta was slightly reclined in an armchair talking to Gohan ( _When did he get here?)_ who was writing furiously in a little red notebook of his.

"You see brat, Planet Vegeta was not the native planet of the Saiyans, but was in fact Planet Sadala. We were forced to relocated to Planet Vegeta after Sadala's destruction. Planet Vegeta has at least ten times the gravity of Earth, and we Saiyans evolved to have smaller bodies so the gravity would affect us less."

"What are you boys doing?" Bulma smiled.

Gohan stopped writing and beamed at Bulma over his shoulder, "Hi Bulma! Mr. Vegeta's telling me all about Saiyan history for my research paper!"

"Cool! Mind if I sit in?" _The repairs can wait, Vegeta never talks and I want to hear about this._

"Fine, but only if you're silent Woman." Under Vegeta's stare, Bulma raised her fingers to her lips and zipped them shut. The Prince must have understood because he turned to Gohan and continued with his description of his home planet.

"Planet Vegeta was mostly harsh desert, with the cities of the previous inhabitants dividing up the landscape. I never saw much of the planet outside the palace though, which was constructed in the middle of a city surrounded by jagged mountains. The sand was white and the soil brown like on this planet, but unlike here the sky was yellow and the clouds red. It was like a never-ending Earth sunset."

"That sounds beautiful."

"Didn't I tell you to be silent?" Vegeta said, much quieter than his usual threats. "Anyway, the palace where I grew up was very no-nonsense. It was made for functionality and a show of power, not beauty. Everything had sharp edges and hard lines, very geo- geo- ugh, what was that word!"

"Geometric?" Gohan offered quietly, long having put his pencil down to better picture his father's home planet.

"Yes, geometric. Everything was kept darker than you do here because of our excellent eyesight and because the sun was always too bright outside. My favorite place to sit was…"

Bulma leaned in to hear more and Vegeta glanced over at her movement quickly as if being shook from a daydream. He looked down and said, "Come back tomorrow brat and I'll tell you about our political history. I studied that extensively."

Gohan smiled, "Oh thank you Mr. Vegeta, sir! I'll be back tomorrow morning."

"Don't interrupt my training brat! If I'm not back yet just wait for me."

"No problem Mr. Vegeta, sir. Thank you!" and with that Gohan grabbed his notebook and flew down the hallway. Bulma smiled at him, not knowing if his rush was excitement or fear of Vegeta.

"That was kind of you, Vegeta."

Vegeta nodded and said, "As the last remaining Saiyan, I should share what I know about our race to Gohan. He's the only one who can continue it."

"What about Goku?"

"Ugh, Kakarot." Vegeta muttered. "He's not a true Saiyan. He knows nothing of his heritage and unlike the boy he doesn't bother trying to learn."

"Well, Goku'd never been one for learning, Vegeta." Bulma joked.

Vegeta's grimace worsened. Bulma leaned over and put her hand on the armrest of his chair, which Vegeta stared at as if contemplating its existence. "I'm sorry you're the only one left. You know, in two years we could use the Dragon Balls to wish back planet Vegeta and all the Saiyans?"

"That'd be suicide. The Saiyans were conquering their galaxy before King Kold stepped in and exposed us to the entire universe. As much as I'd like to have my people back, I don't want to be the cause of any more genocides."

Bulma thought about this admission and decided she better leave. Kami knows that if Vegeta was to realize what he'd exposed to her, she'd be a dead woman- personal engineer or not.


End file.
